It’s gotten to that usual
point every year, where I am done with winter and want spring to get now! It’s
probably been brought on by these recent random days of milder temperatures.
Mother nature is a big tease, I swear.
Things have been going fine,
and much as they can be I suppose. We’ve all just been working our tails off,
day in and day out. Design job keeps me busy everyday, and recently they’ve
just finished doing some renovations around the HQ office. Our HQ is pretty
basic – consists of a small square office space downstairs, the same thing
upstairs, and then a larger warehouse space in back (where they pack tea, do
orders, etc.) through a door. The only downside to all of these new changes
lately is that they’ve re-organized peoples’ desks. They essentially moved
everyone’s desk upstairs, except moi. Some people had already been up there to
begin with, so they really only moved one person up there, who used to be with
me down here. But now I’m by myself, and I do miss having company. I have to
walk upstairs to talk to people face-to-face. I am a person who relishes their
alone time, but this is a little too lonely for me! I know they didn’t do this
for any mean reason, but I can’t help but feel “left-out” some days, because
they’re all up there talking to each other and stuff. I feel like I’m in grade
school again, where I was the weird
kid who no one picked for their kickball team, and sat alone at lunch. Bleh.
It’s crappy how those experiences stay with you long-term.
Biggest news is that the
in-laws are coming to visit! They’ll be visiting the States from the end of
April to the beginning of May, so not too, too long. The last time we all saw
in each in person was when we left Japan to moved back to the States again, in
2008! Wow. Long time. This is obviously greats news because Takeshi gets to see
his parents again. It’s making me somewhat nervous because uh – oh shit I
haven’t used/studied Japanese that much at all since we’ve been back. Which I
hate because I genuinely like
learning Japanese, I love the language – and yet I can tell how this visit’s
going to go already. It’ll be like it always
was in Japan – me sitting there, not knowing enough nihongo to actually carry on a true conversation with
anyone, and Takeshi having to act as translator 24/7. Me sitting there while
they all talk to each other, wishing like hell I could follow along and
contribute. It’s the one thing that’s made it so awkward between me and them –
the thing that prevents me from totally feeling like a part of their family.
And if I voice these
thoughts, TK would turn to me with annoyance and say, “Well, why don’t you just
study the language?? Just do it, and stop complaining.” Which is fine to do
when I have oodles of time, blah blah. Which he’d roll his eyes at. There’s not
even a SLIGHT opportunity in the U.S. to use Japanese (never mind any other foreign
language) for an average working person, and the one source of knowledge
(a.k.a. hub) is busy with a 80+ hour work week. I don’t like to study on my own
all the time, and I can’t practice conversation by myself, now can I?
The most I can do at this
point is hunker down and brush up on as much as I can before the end of April!
