holidays and family

This is a rant post for the most part....so mum and dad (and other relatives who may read), sorry - I just have to rant sometimes.

So it's Thanksgiving tomorrow. Thousands and thousands of people are traveling as we speak to get back to family, relatives. But another year goes by, and it's just the two of us, hub and I. I have a lot of bitterness sometimes when thinking about how distant my relatives can be most times towards my immediate family. Especially my dad's sister, my aunt, and my brother. I've always wished to have a extended family that is close to each other. Where I know all of my cousins well and they know me well, and we're like best friends. The only problem is that almost all of them are not close to my age, they're either way younger or way older. And that makes it hard to connect with them, IF we had better communication to begin with.

I feel as if my family has always been the "black sheep" of my entire family, on both sides, mum and dad's. I think sometimes it's because of politics or religion - which in my opinion is a sure fire way to end relationships, if one cannot abide the other. I always feel that the rest of my relatives have their own "circle" to worry about. Almost like 'clicks' in grade school.

I could never see myself and hub going to my dad's sister's house for holidays, even if she wanted us, which she doesn't. My brother and I have never ever been her 'favorite' niece and nephew. That title has always been reserved for her husband's daughter's children. My aunt to this DAY hasn't been able to spell Takeshi's name right. My 80-something year old grandmother says it fine.

What's my aunt's excuse? It's pretty easy to see that it's because she doesn't give a rat's ass. What's more important? To ramble ON and ON about her adopted son, who lives in San Francisco who is ALSO a chef, like hub.

The thing she chose to do recently made my blood boil. A little while ago my grandfather passed away. My dad and mum had coincidently planned to fly to the States to begin with for their usual visit to the States. My aunt had been talking with my father about the funeral arrangements and such and I believe he had informed of which day they would be flying in. So please schedule the funeral on a day after they've arrived to the States, so they can attend. (Nevermind the sad fact that my dad hadn't been able to be there when his father passed away.)

This women, his OWN SISTER, "forgets" the dates my dad gave her, and schedules the funeral on the day before they're supposed to land in the States.

So because my aunt didn't think TWICE about re-asking him about the dates - my father is not able to attend his own father's funeral.

My father may not get too hot over it, but I sure as hell am. That's lower than low. You would THINK that the one person who'd look out for you, so you can make your parent's funeral, is your sibling. But that doesn't happen in our family too often.

Sometimes I really think we're all not made of the same blood. It's ridiculous. I'll probably never forgive her for it. Not that she and I were great girlfriends before.

On my mother's side I have my 2 uncles, and 2 cousins.

My one uncle (mum's oldest brother) and aunt live in the same state as us. I'm very grateful that they seem to genuinely like Takeshi. It's a lovely change from my dad's sister. Last year they actually did ask us to come over for Thanksgiving. We ended up declining because we had already made plans to cook at home (again, we never expect relatives to call us for this reason). This year we haven't heard from anyone, and I'm afraid that since we said "no" last year, that that was our last chance. Hence the no asking-again this year. I like my aunt and uncle and would like to see them more often.

This goes for my uncle's son, my cousin, as well, and his wife. I've never known my cousin really well, but they're lovely people. And they also seem to like Takeshi some. My cousin and I are far apart in age. So this makes it's hard to find things to talk about. Their professions are totally different, they have more money than we do. They're not struggling financially, they a social life. They have a better life, as far as I can see it. Conversation just ends up dying after a while. I feel bad. I feel like a little kid compared to them. How can we ever stack up? It's awkward.

With my mother's side of the family, I always wonder if they only contact hub and me to get together out of some obligation. "It's the nice thing to do." But we're not FAMILY family. We're not at their 'core'. So I wonder if they really like us being there, or if they take pity on us, since my mum and dad don't live in the same country right now.

I want to be wanted by my relatives. As much as I want to be asked over for the holidays, I am NOT going to call them up and invite myself. "Can we come over this year for Thanksgiving??" - It seems so pathetic of me to beg them. And I feel that since all of my relatives know and relate to my parents more - that without them in the States right now - I don't have a lot of 'pull'. How can I ever cross their mind NOW, since my parent's aren't physically here to invite over. I feel that since my parents moved overseas for my dad's job, that they are out of sight out of mind to our relatives for the most part - and so is my brother and I. It's as if we went and moved with them.

I envy people who have families and relatives that cherish each other and have each other over for the holidays (or during rest of the year, even). I daydream about it sometimes.

But you know what? We DO have family members who truly want us - it's just that they don't live in the same country. Takeshi's family would DEFINITELY have us over for every holiday no matter what, if we lived close by still. GOD I miss my Japanese relatives! Lol.

So, in closing I'd just like to say that, again, this was a rant. A way to get this off my shoulders and speak my mind. I hope to not offend any of my relatives who read this. (but how many of them do, anyway???) I always welcome a chance to strengthen bonds with family and friends, since these relationships are important to me.

In the future, Takeshi and I will have a little family of our own one day. But until then, it's just the two of us. Hopefully soon it'll be the three of us, because I'm desperately wanting a doggie! ;)

orientation, chores

Another huge gap in my posts! Yikes.

Since my last post, I have been able to (FINALLY) find a part time job at a local retail place. The last 'cloud' over me though, is that the position is seasonal and I will be up for evaluation at the end of the year. I hope that they decide to keep me. I'd rather not have to do this search AGAIN in a month's time...One month of pay...yay. I went out today to buy the necessary khaki pants for the job, since I do not own any.

The internship has been great. I enjoy going there on my 2 days a week. I wish I could work there more, but right now, the *paid* part-time work needs to dominate my week.

Tomorrow I wake up early to go to the motor vehicle building to hopefully get my Maryland license! I've been waiting forever to obtain it, since I needed the last of 2 proofs of residency here. I finally got it, so off I go again. And also to hopefully get MD tags for the car as well, on the same day. Personally, I'd rather stay in bed tomorrow morning with the hub.

Hub and I have been slowly searching for a bed and bed-frame for the guest-room, mostly to be used by my parents when they visit in January. We decided to check out the local Mattress Discounters Warehouse, since neither of us had ever set foot in one. We just wanted to peak at what they had and for what price. What we had to deal with was a bunch of old, fat, rude salesmen. I've dealt with the usual salesperson who prods and pokes you, and drops hints to buy something. I get that. But these guys were borderline MEAN. The first guy talked our ears off for what seemed like 20 minutes, showing us one mattress after another without giving us a word in. After telling him that we were just LOOKING and not planning to buy anything TODAY - he pretty much ignores what we say and pulls over his bloated associate to show us more mattresses in the back. We finally were able to get out of the conversation and were walking off to the door, when they start, LOUDLY, talking to themselves about us, "What happened?" "They didn't want to see them, I dunno." "What???"

Y'know what? Screw you fat blowhards. I'll never buy anything from anyone who acts like that.

So that soured our morning just a tad, that day. But we had a good weekend over all. Takeshi's birthday is coming up soon! :) About 2 weeks away, on December 2nd. He'll be 25! I've already bought a couple presents online. I always like to make his birthday card, so I gotta make time for that.

I end with recent photos! :)



We recently went back to Old Town and ate at Pizzeria Paradiso

While in Old Town, we could not skip visiting Restaurant Eve (hub's previous work), so we sat at the bar for a little while and he caught up with people. Yummy things I had - 2 drinkies and we shared some smoked deviled eggs and fresh pork rinds. We left happy. :)

View from the MVA parking lot. Not used to seeing mountains everywhere!

My FAVORITE guilty pleasure. 'Bath bombs' from Lush. I got me' a Satsumo Santa recently. Can't wait to try it out!

So, Mr. Chef accidentally placed a hot sauce pan ONTO the kitchen rug the other day. Now we have a circular spot of half-melted rug there.

The inlaws sent us a box the other day! Totally unexpected. Good stuff - shirts and socks mostly. Also, I need someone to tell me HOW to wear the leg-warmer things?? I've never owned a pair. O_O Help.

We had homemade gyoza the other night for dinner! It went pretty fast with the two of us.

one down, one to go

So, since the last time I posted, I ended up getting the internship at Frederick Magazine!! :) やかった〜！

I started this past Wednesday. I'll be going in on Wednesdays and Thursdays from about 10:00am till 3:00pm. The art director is a really nice guy and it turns out that he went to the same art school as me in Lancaster, PA! What a small world huh?

An even weirder coincidence - a long way back (when we were still in VA) I had traveled to Annapolis, MD (close to where I'm originally from) and had interviewed at a magazine firm, which I ended up not getting. Come to find out now, from talking to the people at FredMag, that before me they had another intern who interned there for about 6 months. She ended up leaving because she had gotten hired!.....Guess where? At the same place I went to in Annapolis. Damn. She's there now. I lost that job to her, and NOW I'm where she was!

This just makes me feel even more motivated. If she interned at this place, gained experience, and ended up having a full-time job because of it (and a glowing recommendation from the art director here), then that's what I want. I've always wanted it, but hearing about her good fortune, makes me yearn for it even more.

So my plan is to intern here for at least half a year (that'll make it at least until next May), puff up my resume and get some good pieces to add to my portfolio. Right now, they have me working on ads, and working my way up to articles. I work with two graphic designers Matt and Joe, who are very nice and patient with me (but in my opinion, I've caught on just fine so far). I'm the only girl there in the design department, so that makes me the prettiest by default. ;) But I can run with the boys, no problem.

Now that I've thankfully found the design portion of it, my only concern is finding a part-time job still. Fortunately, I've been offered a part-time position at a local retail store. I also interviewed at another retail store the day after that, but I won't hear a decision from place #2 until the middle of next week. This worries me a little, since I don't know how long place #1 will extend their offer to me, while I wait for place #2's answer. I plan to call place #1 tomorrow, to let them know the situation. If they cannot wait until the middle of next week, I'll just take their offer instead.

If place #2's answer is 'yes' then I can always turn around and take their offer instead. So I'll see how the game plays out!

I end with some recent random photos. Have a good weekend everyone!



downtown Frederick at night, totally empty and still

TK and I walking through downtown

my work space at FredMag :)

first snow of the year! In October?? wow.

I caught this before it melted! interesting, 'wrinkled' snow