14 January 2011


Another deadline by which a possible future job is supposed to call me with a yes or no or anything has passed. Again, I send an email and leave a voice message on the interviewer's phone to hope for some kind of answer. Again another chance of receiving some human decency is nonexistent.

I'm feeling down today to say the least. Yes, I have a part time job, so I have some kind of money coming in, but it's not enough to actually make any kind of savings per month.

Again I am not being useful at all to this household. When will I be proud of myself? And have a full time job doing what I got my degree in?

I hate trusting people right now at all with "getting back" to me, or saying "hey I know someone in the industry etc etc maybe they could help you find something". It all turns to shit, and it ends up being nothing.

They say it in the beginning, but later on, I email back again and again - and I get dead silence. Not even a "Hi, sorry I can't help you" response. Or when they finally do email me back, it's about 2 weeks later with, "sorry we filled the position already." No shit? You THINK? I think I got that by now...

I hate people right now. I want to put them in my place, to be hanging on every response, that might mean a job in the end. They may have been in that position before in the past, looking for a job, but they obviously don't give a shit now.

I continue on my search, it's my only option. I try to "numb" myself as much as I can now, with interviewing and such, so I don't get my hopes up. But it's hard not to feel something every time.


Judith said...

People can be so horrible. I really hope you find something soon.
This just makes me dread getting done with my degree in May and having to find a job. I'm doing a placement at the moment on Fridays. I don't get paid, but I enjoy the work and being useful and I learn a lot. But even this took forever to get. I wrote applications in October and didn't hear back. So I wrote again in November and then again in December when I finally got an answer to come in. I get that they are busy, but I'm offering my labour for free!!! So I'm really dreading the day where I'm going to ask for money (big shocker) when I work.
Keeping my fingers' crossed for you!

ローラ said...

Thanks Judith! I hope I find something soon too. At least so you all won't have to read about such depressing stuff anymore! ;)

What's your degree in? The trouble you went through to get your placement sounds like the trouble I went through to finally even my internship in college! Seriously, we will work for no money and we still can't anyone to look at us! Yeesh.

Sending good vibes your way as well, for when you get done in May!